Relationship After Cheating-Kick Him To The Curb

You just found out that your spouse is cheating. What happens to your relationship after cheating is pretty much up to you at this point? Do you forgive and forget or do you kick him to the curb? Frankly, if it were me, I would kick him to the curb. You could never trust him again and, seriously, why would you ever want to try? I don't like being played for a fool, he would be gone so fast he would not know what hit him. But then what? Where would you be then? All alone with no one to talk to? If you were really in love then the hurt would be completely devastating and it would take a lot of time to get over him. It would be difficult to enter into another relationship after cheating. When you make the decision to kick him to the curb you automatically take control from him. You get you back and you get to start making the rules. No more passivity, no more depending on him for your happiness. Tell him that it is over and done then absolutely refuse to have any contact with him whatsoever. He is no longer worth your time. If he wants to talk to you he should do it through your lawyer. Let the anger you feel be your guide, for now. Do not let it consume you because it will literally eat you up inside and you will not be good to anyone, especially yourself. So, use the anger effectively to get through the divorce and then learn to let it go. See someone to help if you need to but find a way to let it go. One good way to vent your anger and other feelings is to start a daily journal. This is a way to track how you are dealing with the wrong that was done to you. You can vent all you like and say anything you want when you put it in a journal. Journal writing can be very cleansing, not to mention healing. It is there for you only to get your feelings out, no one can take that away from you. You may feel some depression over the loss of the relationship and this is completely normal. If it doesn't feel like ti will ever get better then see your doctor or find a counselor to talk things out with. There are medications you can take short term to help with situational depression and so you can cope with the stress of daily life. Don't be afraid to take these medications they can and do help lots of people deal with depression. You can take them until you start to feel better then wean your doctor can help you wean off of them. Do not ever do it your self, always follow doctor's orders. Eventually you will get to a good place both in your head and in your life where you can be happy and start looking for another relationship. This will take some time though so do not rush things. Stay connected to your feelings by continuing to write in your journal every night before you go to bed. Occasionally read back when you first started the journal and see how you have changed and progressed. You should see a natural progression of feelings and coping mechanisms that get you to where you can handle your relationship after cheating.

Office Relationships-Not Always What They Are Cracked Up To Be

Office relationships are not all they're cracked up to be. Sneaking around, trying not to be seen by anyone you work with, lying and trying to keep all the lies straight is not an easy task. You start trying to justify what you are doing by trying to convince yourself that you found the one and your relationship is better than any other you have ever had. You must be very careful or you will most assuredly get caught. When you first started working together, you didn't even really like each other but with the close proximity of working together you became fond of each other and one thing led to another. Now you want to work together for your future. Things were good before you met your secret lover. Now they are phenomenal. Some where along the line you decided it was ok to be a little selfish and start thinking only of yourself and what you want. You deliberately push thoughts of your boss and coworkers and how they will feel when they discover your indiscretion(s) away and willingly enter into office relationships. At first you may feel the exhilaration that comes along with the danger of what you are doing and that feeling may keep you going back for more. The stolen moments are just that, stolen. your behavior at work has probably changed and the boss and coworkers know something is going on. You really are not hiding anything despite what you may think. The hurt you can cause in a situation like this will only increase exponentially when you do get caught. The trust your boss and coworkers did have for you will be completely destroyed and you will most likely be fired. If you care about your job, or your lover's job, at all you will rethink continuing this relationship. Do not make your boss regret having hired you. You and your secret lover are jeopardizing your current relationships, your livelihood and even that of your children, if you have some. Think about how they will feel when what you are doing results in you losing your job. Your coworkers may even feel betrayed but mostly you will become a couple of laughing stocks when this gets out. Stop right now and think about what you are doing. Ask yourself if you really want to be responsible for destroying the lives of everyone involved. If you truly can say that you do not care about anyone but yourselves then go ahead with your plans. Just prepare yourself for the consequences because you will probably lose everything that was ever important to you and have to rebuild it all. People who enter willingly into office relationships do it without concern for the other people in their lives and think of nothing but their own gratification. Doing this will cause you and everyone concerned nothing but trouble. You could probably make things work though if one of you quit and went to another company to work. Of course in this economy you may have trouble finding another job.

Same Sex Marriage And Family Dynamics Are No Diffrent

Whether you think it's right or wrong, the truth is that some people are born to be attracted to members of their own sex. It happens in the wild with many species of animals and it happens with humans. Today more of these same sex couples are entering into marriage. The question many people are asking is what are the same sex marriage and family dynamics? Well, the truth is it's pretty much the same as a heterosexual couples family dynamics. There was a recent movie that portrayed a lesbian couple raising two children. It was interesting because they were a totally "normal" family. They dealt with the same issues, the same worries and problems that any family has to deal with. In this movie the sperm donor makes a sudden appearance back in their lives and the kids want to meet him. When they do it threatens the moms. But, that is just like any situation where a child has been raised by a non biological parent and the other parent suddenly shows up. If you take away the fact that the married couple were two women, the movie just showed family life like it is lived out all over this country. There are many instances of one parent not being up to the task, only to reappear years later when the kids are grown. The confusion, the resentments and the same sex marriage and family dynamics are no different than that of any other family. We all have the roles we play in all of our relationships. We take a certain role in our work life, we take on a certain role in our family and with our parents and we take on a certain role in our home life. That is based more on our personality and that of our spouse than our sexual orientation. The dynamics of the family will vary and ebb and flow based on what outside pressures are being applied. Whether it is a same sex marriage or a heterosexual marriage, problems can and do arise. A layoff and subsequent loss of income is an enormous stressor and can really set the normal family dynamic on it's ear. There are so many other things that can and do happen to families of all types heterosexual, homosexual, single parent, grandparent led, etc. Even something as simple and normal as the kids getting older and the issues they face can cause a ripple in the dynamics of the family. Dealing with issues your kid may face such as drug use, sexual behaviors, bullying, depression, etc. All of these things affect the normal family dynamic no matter what type of family it is. There are some who would like to find fault with, or try to say that the same sex marriage and family dynamics are wrong or abnormal. The truth is that there never really was a "normal" family dynamic. Many people cling to the "values" of the 50's but in reality there weren't a lot of values then. In those days a man could beat his wife and as long as he didn't kill her it was ok. Women were really out of luck if their husband was abusive, divorce was virtually unheard of and even if she did get away, she would have a hard time finding a job and supporting herself. Her boss could could blatantly harass her sexually and she had no protection. Some family values, huh? The fact of the matter is that the good old days weren't really all that good for many in our society. If the marriages of today, whether same sex or not, are more about love, companionship and partnerships, than control or abuse, than I would say that the same sex marriage and family dynamics are just fine.

Get Back Together With Your Ex-Patch Things Up

What follows may sound incredibly sexist and stereotypical, but that's not the intent. Instead, the whole purpose is to help you get back together with your ex wife or girlfriend. But, because everybody is different, it would be next to impossible to cover every single possibility. For that reason, we'll have to stick to generalities at the risk of rubbing a few people the wrong way. Okay, now that we have that out of the way...let's look at how you can patch things up. While there are no hard and fast statistics, some people have estimated that as many as 3 out of 4 break ups are started by women. Why is this the case? Generally speaking, women have a better idea of exactly what they want in a mate; while men are just happy to be with a breathing human being. But the other surprising thing is that it's normally the woman who wants to get back together, but there's a catch: if they don't want to get back together, then nothing will change their mind. Understanding this will help you to get your ex back. You know that the odds are against you making things work, and that she will be the one who wants to be in control. But the real key is that she only needs to feel as though she's in control. Your first step is to give her plenty of time and space to work things out on her own. There is a great chance that she will start to miss you, but you need to give her the opportunity to miss you. If you keep calling her and won't leave her alone, then she will continue being sick of you. Obviously that's not a smart move. So, if you want to get back together with your ex then you have to break off all contact. It won't be easy, but it's your safest bet. You're going to have a lot of free time now that you've broken off contact, but that doesn't mean you should just sit around. Put this time to good use by figuring out what went wrong. This isn't as easy as it sounds. You can't just look at things that are on the surface. Instead you have to dig down deep and get to the root of the problems that caused the break up. A common reason people give for breaking up is arguing, but if you don't figure out why the arguments happened, then you will never work things out. The next step is to work on solutions for the problems you've discovered. One thing to keep in mind is that you can't change anyone but yourself. So, if there are any problem that relate to your ex, then you need to forget them, forgive them, or confront her about them (the first two are much easier than the last one). If you want to get back together with your ex, then you need to be willing to do whatever it takes. The above steps won't always be easy, but they will be worth it when the two of you are happily back together.

Remedy For A Broken Heart-There Is Nothing Sadder

There is nothing sadder than suffering from a broken heart. Whether the two of you were in love for a long time, or got together recently, going through a break up hurts. Of course there will be friends and family there to comfort you; or, to be more accurate, trying to comfort you. Sure, they mean well when they give you advice, but what you need is a real remedy for a broken heart, and not a bunch of empty sayings. Is it really possible to mend your heart if it's been broken? The answer is yes it is possible, but it's not always easy. Having the right attitude is vital as you work everything out. There may be times when you feel like giving up, but stick with it and you will come out on the other side feeling better than ever before. It's going to take an investment of time, but it can be done. The first step is to get your emotions in check. Emotions always run high after a break up, so much so that it can cloud your judgment. In other words, your feelings can get the better of you. Rationality takes a backseat to recklessness and you may find yourself doing things you would never do otherwise. Being aware that this is a possibility will help you to stay level-headed. The other thing that will help you control your emotions is the passage of time. The more time that has passed since the breakup, the more your heart will naturally mend. If quite a bit of time has passed, but you still can't seem to cope, then you may need to seek the advice of your doctor or a counselor. It's possible that your broken heart has progressed into full-blown depression. Your friends and family may be telling you to "just get over it" or that you have a case of the blues, but depression is a serious medical condition. Maybe you're not depressed, but only a doctor or counselor will know for sure. Either way, you should remember that professional help is always a possible remedy for a broken heart. It's easy to fall into a state of denial after a breakup, but the sooner you face reality, the sooner you will be able to get on with your life. Denial is nothing more than a dysfunctional coping mechanism. The problem is that your broken heart can't be mended when you're in denial. Facing the reality of the situation may not be easy, but it sure beats living in denial for the rest of your life. What it all comes down to is this: Living with a broken heart isn't any fun. There is no reason that you should suffer for the rest of your life. Even if you lost your lifelong love, it's okay to feel good about yourself. Time, the right attitude and doing whatever it takes is the only sure remedy for a broken heart.

Communicate Before Marriage Values Religion Etc-Blinded By Love

You see a lot online or in magazines or on t.v. about how to deal with problems and issues in a relationship or marriage. The sad thing is that most of these problems could easily have been avoided if people would have just taken some time to communicate before marriage values, religion etc. Finding out what you have in common, what you don't agree on and what you may be able to compromise on before you are married can save a lot of stress and tension after you are married. Hey, I'm not criticizing anyone, I did the same thing. I ignored very obvious warning signs that my soon to be husband wasn't really the man for me. I was in love and apparently blind, because I went through with it and we got married. I did get two wonderful, beautiful children out of the marriage so I guess I won't complain, but many of the hurts and issues we faced could have been avoided if both of us had been more honest. It become clear fairly early on that we didn't really have that much in common. We each wanted different things in a marriage. I wanted my best friend and companionship. Someone who I knew always had my back, even when I was wrong or just not very lovable. He wanted someone to cook and clean for him. He didn't want a partner, we wanted a maid and a call girl. He was very immature and emotionally stunted, that too become pretty clear early on. If you don't want your marriage to end up in divorce, take some time to communicate before marriage values, religion etc. Finding out what your soon to be spouse is really like can be the difference between a wonderful marriage or a nightmare. Here are some basic things the two of you should be on the same page about (or at least be able to find a good compromise on): 1. If religion is something that is very important to you, it might be a good idea to marry someone with similar beliefs. If you have some belief in a higher power but you aren't too tied to any one organized religion, than it may not be a problem. 2. Do you want to have kids? If so, how many? How do you think they should be raised, should one parent stay home with them or are you both ok with the idea of daycare? If one parent should stay home, which parent? All of this is very important to take into consideration. If you have a great career you love and your soon to be husband has very traditional values and expects you to stay home and raise the kids, how is that going to make you feel? 3. What about money? Is one of you a someone who likes to pinch every penny and the other likes to rack up the credit cards to the limit? If so, how is that going to work? It will be a constant source of stress between the two of you. Also, who handles the money and financial issues, like getting insurance, paying the bills, etc.? Some couples like to do it together, which is best. But others may think that only one should do it. Find out what your partner is thinking. Communicate before marriage values, religion etc is a good idea and may just save your marriage.

Marriage Workshops For Healthy Marriages-Tune Up For Marriage

I saw a show recently where a happily married couple decided to go to marriage workshops for healthy marriages. Their friends were wondering what was wrong and were worried. After all, we are used to people getting help when their marriage is already on the brink but not when things are going well. The couple were planning on having a baby and thought getting a "tune up" was just a good idea. It was. Turns out that they had a lot of pent up resentments that neither of them were aware of. They ended up making things work out but it did take some work and some time. If you think about it, it's actually kind of dumb. Our marriages are the single biggest and most important relationship we will ever have (except for the one we have with our kids). Why not keep it healthy? We take our cars in for preventative maintenance once in a while even when there doesn't seem to be anything wrong. We go to the doctor once a year for a checkup when there are no obvious signs of trouble. Why not go to marriage workshops for healthy marriages to make sure our marriage is going well and on the right track? The truth is that just like your car or your health, your marriage can seem to be healthy but in reality there is some trouble brewing right under the surface. Neither of you may actually be aware of it on a conscious level, but it's there. Why wait until it blows up and becomes a huge problem, why not try to nip it in the bud? Whether we like it or not, resentments can and do build up, even in good marriages. Misunderstandings, the occasional inappropriate comment, these things can not only sting at the time, they can also hide just below the surface and fester. We may not be aware of them, but they are almost always there. Left on their own they might not ever become a problem. but when (or if) something happens in the marriage that heightens the stress and tension, those little sores that have been festering can often explode all at once. That is why getting the occasional checkup for your marriage is a great idea. A counselor is a great source of help because they can see things you and your partner might be too close to see. And once they have seen some sign of trouble, they can help you form a plan to navigate around that issue. It's always easier to deal with something while it is still small and pretty insignificant. It's much harder to deal with something once it has gotten huge and the anger has grown. Hopefully you and your spouse are very happy in your marriage. And, hopefully, your resentments and anger are few and far between, but even so, if you want to maintain your healthy relationship going to marriage workshops for healthy marriages might help you avoid any potential blowups in the future. And who wouldn't want that?