Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Is Your Marriage In Crisis?

Is your marriage in crisis? Would you know it if it was? Do you recognize the warning signs? A marriage in crisis can sometimes disguise itself as a normal but slightly boring marriage until it’s too late to change it and save it.

You have to pay attention to all the signs of health in your marriage to make sure your partnership is going strong. First, look at how often you have sex. While sex isn’t the whole point of the marriage—it’s much more important than just that—it’s a crucial part of a healthy marriage.

A marriage in crisis is usually pretty easy to spot by looking at your sex lives. Do you have sex infrequently? Is it a big, scheduled deal when you do have sex? Have you stopped having sex spontaneously just when you feel like it?

When sex becomes a scheduled activity, a marriage can certainly recover. In fact, most marriages go through a phase very much like that when a baby is born. Each child makes it more and more difficult to find the time to spend with our partner over a meal or before leaving for work, let alone finding a spare hour to make love.

But a marriage in crisis never breaks out of that pattern. Instead, even when the time is there the partners don’t have spontaneous sex. Usually there’s very little physical affection shown during the day either. People in love and happy to be together tend to hug and kiss different times through the day.

A loving couple will often touch each other just in passing. One will give the other a fast kiss on the cheek or forehead for no reason. Does this still happen in your marriage? Do you ever sneak a quick pinch or pat on the bottom or a sexy look in the middle of the day?

When these things start to disappear, it can be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. The other thing that goes in a very obvious way is common courtesy. When you say “thank you,” “excuse me,” and “please,” throughout your day to strangers more than you say them to your partner, something’s wrong.

We take our partners for granted in this way, and eventually this leads to a sort of coldness between people. There is simply no reason not to be affectionate and thank our partners (and say please) during the course of everyday life.

The good news is that if you’re seeing these warning signs, you can start working right now to correct them. And you don’t have to make a fanfare about it or announce the change. Simply change what you do.

Make a point of giving affection and unexpected kisses. Be very polite again, and say please and thank you, even when it’s just the two of you. Make time for making love. Do these things and your marriage in crisis could soon be back on track and you could be happier than ever.

Some Things I Ve Learned From Women Who have Dumped Me - Learning How To Rekindle Love

People are in a tough spot with their loved one and are trying to rekindle love in the relationship in order to prevent the relationship from falling apart can likely benefit from some things I ve learned from women who ve dumped me.

This is because I have "been there, done that" when it comes to relationships, and I have learned a lot about how to keep a relationship going, or even more importantly in some situations, how to know when the relationship really is coming to an end.

Here are some of the things I ve learned from women who ve dumped me, and how you can use them to your advantage to win back love.

1 - One of the biggest things I ve learned from women who ve dumped me is that sometimes women break up relationships with every intention of rekindling things later, but they break the relationship up to create some much needed space for a period of time.

In other words, just because she broke up with you, that does not mean that it's all over. Just give her some time and some space and everything will probably be alright again in no time.

2 - Another one of the things I ve learned from women who ve dumped me is that often women will break up a relationship simply because they think you are going to break up with them, and are trying to beat you to the punch. You can counteract this by being honest about your feelings and intentions to calm down her need to end things first.

It is normal for people to want to have the last word in an argument, and being the one initiating the break up is an example of this. Let her know that you don't want to break things up and you may just be able to keep the relationship from falling apart.

3 - One of the final things I ve learned from women who ve dumped me that you should keep in mind is that if you work hard enough to rekindle things, you can make a relationship work. A breakup does not have to mean that the relationship is over forever, it simply means that the relationship needs some time and that both parties require some time apart. You do not have to give up on the relationship or the love behind it just because a hiatus is needed.

Stay strong if you find yourself having relationship problems, and know that every break up comes with life lessons that you can take with you in order to help you with future relationship problems, regardless of what life throws at you.

Help I Want My Husband Back

Do you tell people, “I want my husband back?” It’s not uncommon to want your husband back after you split up, no matter how back things were when you were together. So before you absolutely decide that yes, “I want my husband back,” you should think long and hard about the way things were before you split up.

Think about why you split up in the first place. Was it your fault, his, or both your faults? Sometimes it’s hard to tell whose fault it was because so many little things seemed to contribute to the break up.

If there’s no obvious reason like one of you had an affair or somehow betrayed the other, then there’ s a better chance that your mantra of, “I want my husband back” will work out!

If there was an affair or a really big and hurtful problem like that, getting back together will be more of a challenge. But you can still do it, if you both want it and you both work hard at it. If you both don’t want it, it’s pretty unlikely that it will happen.

Have you asked your husband if he’s interested in getting back together? Do you even know his feelings about it? You might be surprised to find that while you’re saying, “I want my husband back!” he’s not that desperate to get back into the relationship.

That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care about you, by the way. Just that something in the relationship wasn’t right for him and he’s no longer afraid to admit that. As bad as that sounds, it doesn’t mean that the relationship can’t be fixed.

If you can get him onboard and willing to try some of these techniques, try reading a book about marriage problems out loud to each other over breakfast or in the evening before bed. If you’re reading it at the same time, then it’s easier for you to discuss what you’ve just read while it’s all fresh on your mind.

Don’t be upset or alarmed if he doesn’t have any interest in going to counseling. While this does make it harder to get your man back, it can still be done. You can go to the counseling on your own and learn the techniques you need to communicate with him properly.

You can teach him these techniques, either overtly (here, let me show you) or covertly, by simply using them every time you interact. Even if he has no interest in learning anything you learned in class, the very act of doing the exercises yourself can give you a sense of power you didn’t have before.

Going to the counseling can make you feel like you have some power in the relationship, and can influence it either for the better or the worse. And since you’re alone with the counselor you can talk about some private issues that bother you, as well. Soon, “I want my husband back” could turn into, “I got my husband back.”

I am Still In Love With My Ex

Do you say, “I’m still in love with my ex!” and wonder how you’re going to get through the hours, let alone the next days? It’s common to feel completely overwhelmed after a breakup, especially if you’re not the one what wanted to end it. And if you sit around thinking, “I’m still in love with my ex,” you’re only making it harder on yourself.

Of course, if you’re really in love with your ex you could make an effort to get back together. There’s no guarantee that anything you do will get you back together, but you could still try. Often, being genuine and just making it really clear that you don’t want to lose your ex will be enough to move them to give it another chance.

If cheating was involved in some capacity, then their wanting to come back is less likely, but it’s still possible. If you cheated, you might think it’s going to be harder to get them back.

But if they cheated and that relationship has ended, it’s still harder to get them back once they’ve been with someone else. And it’s going to take a long time for you to start trusting each other again.

It’s important for you to decide that if your ex gives in and comes back, how will you keep from falling into the same patterns the next time around? You can say, “I’m still in love with my ex!” until you’re blue in the face, and that won’t chance whether or not you have problems in the future.

It’s really easy to be in love with someone. But making a relationship work is tough and time consuming. And you have the added difficulty of overcoming a break up. You can try to convince your ex that if you get back together you’ll change your ways, and maybe they’ll believe you.

But the best thing you can do is simply show that you’ve changed your ways, without saying much about it. Actions really do almost always speak much louder than words, so the things you do are going to be noticed more by your ex than the things you say.

It’s important to say the right things, too. But it’s more important to do the right things. If you’re really still in love with them then you should want to change your actions dramatically, at least right now. When you think your actions might make a difference it’s easy to feel like you can change many things about yourself.

What you have to determine is whether or not you can really follow through with it. There’s no point in making promises to your ex that you’re not going to be able to keep.

If you have any doubt that you’ll want to make the changes that you or your ex feel are necessary, then you shouldn’t promise that you’ll make them. Though you say, “I’m still in love with my ex, “ you have to remember than only lasting changes will matter, not just a fast change to win them back.

Can You And Your Boyfriend Get Back Together

If you’ve broken up, you probably wonder can you and your boyfriend get back together? Sadly, there’s no one right answer to that question. It depends a lot on you and your boyfriend, and the dynamic of your relationship. If you wonder can you and your boyfriend get back together, you may want to speak to a counselor and let them evaluate your situation.

Marriage and couple counselors have heard all sorts of problems and sorts of reasons from both the husbands and wives. They’re experienced in dealing with these sorts of conflicts and may be able to help you. If you ask them, should me and my boyfriend get back together? you might be surprised at their answer.

The goal of marriage and couple counselors is to save relationships. Unfortunately, many of these programs aren’t that good at really diagnosing the problem. If either half of the couple lies, it makes it even more difficult for them to treat you.

But once they get to the bottom of things, you might be surprised how accurate they are. And since their goal is to help you handle your relationship, the word divorce isn’t thrown around. If you go to counseling talking about divorce it might come up. Or if they really feel that you’re in a dangerous or destructive relationship.

But for the most part, their aim is to keep you together or get you back together in a way that you can both be happy. The hardest part of you and your boyfriend get back together will probably be getting him to go to the counseling in the first place.

The good news is that he doesn’t actually have to go. You can decide to go to couple counseling on your own. It might not be as effective, but it does a couple of very good things for you when you’re trying to get back together.

First, it shows him that you’re serious. If he won’t go and you opt to without him, then it seems to him that you’re really trying hard to change something about your relationship. Why else would you go alone to a session meant for two people?

Second, you can learn some important tips and techniques in counseling that you can start putting to use right away. Just because he’s not going to counseling that doesn’t mean that you can’t improve the relationship by leaps and bounds.

You’ll learn communication skills and persuasion skills that can make a real difference in how the two of you relate to each other. And if he sees you going to counseling and better able to handle yourself in general without getting angry with him, that could actually prompt him to decide to go, too.

You have to set the example and hope he follows if you’re the only that will voluntarily go. Whether you and your boyfriend get back together or not, you will have benefited personally from the skills you learned in counseling so it’s definitely worth going.

Win Love Back Allow Your Ex Time Space

Do you want to win love back? The key is allowing your ex to have a little bit of time to figure out what they want from the relationship. Tim and Rhonda learned this from Tim’s friend Joe.

Rhonda stormed out of Tim’s apartment one day saying she never wanted to see him again. Tim was stunned. All he could think about was how to win love back.

He called his buddy Joe and asked whether he should send flowers or candy.

“Neither,” Joe said. “And don’t call, email, or text her either.”

Tim was stunned by this advice. He wanted to win love back right away before Rhonda had a chance to “look around” and find someone better.

But Joe told Tim that giving Rhonda the space to “look around” was just what she needed. There was a small chance that she would go forever, but the probability was that she would settle down and come back to him. She must come to the conclusion that their relationship was special on her own terms.

Further, Joe advised, it would be bad if Tim looked too desperate. This gave Rhonda the upper hand in many ways. It would lead to further grand gestures in the future. If he wanted to get the relationship back on track, Tim needed to give Rhonda space.

Tim and Rhonda both had a lot invested in the relationship. They had been together 18 months and had even talked about marriage. This was why it was such a blow to Tim when Rhonda walked out.

But Tim took Joe’s advice, as painful as it was, and waited for Rhonda to call. It took her four days, but she finally contacted him.

The first thing she wanted to know was “why didn’t you call me?” He told her “I was waiting for you to call. I knew you needed space.”

He was right, and she knew it. She actually appreciated the fact that he hadn’t called. She knew that he had found a way to win love back.

As they talked about hwere their relationship had been and how to get it back on track, they discovered that one of the problems was that they had been crowding one another. The thought of getting married had been suffocating.

So, they decided to back off. They would still see each other exclusively, but they would make more time for friends and solo activities. They wouldn’t talk about marriage again for six months.

Tim restrained himself from pursuing Rhonda when she needed space. This allowed her to reevaluate her relationship with him on her own terms.

She initially thought that he would call her all the time. She was actually surprised that he didn’t. But, because he refrained from contacting her, she was able to see what her life was like without him in it. And, it wasn’t as pleasant as she had imagined it would be.

So, if you’re determined to win love back, keep in mind that sometime what is needed is a little space.

Get Guy Back When You are In A Bad Position

Traci wanted to get guy back. She wasn’t in a good position to do so however. She had accused her ex, Cory, of flirting with her best friend. Traci knew that Cory was just being friendly, but she was having a bad day and she took it out on Cory.

Now Traci is contrite and she wants to get guy back. Unfortunately, the guy doesn’t want to be gotten back. He wants nothing further to do with Traci. What’s a girl to do?

First of all, Traci needs to apologize. This needs to be a sincere apology. If he doesn’t want to listen to her, she should write a note.

There are three components to a genuine apology. First of all, there is a recognition that what she did was wrong. Then, there is an introspection as to why she did it. Finally, there is a commitment to not do it again.

For instance, Traci needs to say “Brian, I was wrong to accuse you of flirting with Sandy. I was feeling insecure for a number of reasons that had nothing to do with you and I snapped. I realize that I hurt you badly and I’m sorry. In the future, I will be careful not to lash out at you when I’m feeling crummy about myself.”

Next, she needs to sit back and allow Brian to process what she’s said. This may just take a few minutes or it could take days. If he’s not initially receptive, she should not contact him until he contacts her. That means that she shouldn’t call, email, or text him. She shouldn’t engage him on social networks. She shouldn’t send him gifts or letters.

She should also avoid having friends intercede for her. Having a friend contact Brian would be the same thing as Traci contacting him herself and there is always the possibility that the friend could (deliberately or not) miscommunicate the message.

Instead, Traci should wait for Brian to contact her. He will, eventually, if only to get his stuff that she has back. This is Traci’s opportunity to strike.

She should keep things light. She shouldn’t go overboard and tell him how much she’s missed him or how sorry she is about the situation.

Instead, she should bring up some of the positive experiences they’ve shared. If that goes over well, she can talk about the little things that she’s missed such as his smile or the way he always holds the umbrella when it rains. Then, she should suggest they meet for a not-date date such as a short get together at a coffee shop.

If he is agreeable to coffee, they can discuss more weighty matters. She can apologize again at that point and recommit to not making the same error again. At that point, she can say that she misses having him in her life and would like to get back together.

Traci has let Brian blow off any steam he had about the incident. She has also given him both time and reasons to want her back. At that point, she doesn’t have to do much work to get guy back.

Get Back Together With Ex Do Some Soul Searching

Do you really want to get back together with ex? You may have an instant reaction that “of course I want to get back together.” But, you should do some soul searching before you answer this question. There was a reason you broke up, and if this reason or reasons are not addressed, you will repeat the cycle.

If you get back together with ex, are you going to be really happy? Or, will you wind up down the same road that got you here in the first place?

After you break up, you may be only thinking about the good times. You’ll forget about all of the problems you had. You’ll think about how lonely you are without him or her not how frustrated you used to get with them.

After a break up, you need to be brutally honest about what you want out of a relationship. Think about both the good times and the bad times before you make any decisions.

Some relationships are not worth saving. If you fought more than you loved, you might want to consider whether there might be a better fit with someone else. Above all, a couple should make each other happy. If you couldn’t do this with your ex, you might want to consider moving on.

That’s not to say that a relationship can’t be saved after a break up. If you want to get back together after you’ve done some soul searching, that can be done. The rest of this article will be devoted to getting back together once you’ve decided it’s worth it.

One thing that you need to keep in mind is that you don’t want to “stalk” your ex. This is not just following him or her around. It also means not repeatedly calling, emailing, or texting them. Don’t stalk them on their social networking sites either. All of these things make you seem desperate.

When you do talk, don’t plead or beg them to get back together with you. Don’t present an aura that you have been “wrong” and you’ll do better in the future.

You may be beating yourself up about the things you did in the past. But the past is the past. Now, you want to move forward.

At the present time, the relationship is over. You don’t have a time machine to go back and change things. Now, you need to concentrate on the things you can do in the present.

Instead, back off and give your ex some space. When you do talk, bring up the fun times you shared and the things you like about them.

Your ex may suggest meeting in a non threatening manner. If he or she doesn’t, you can suggest it. Perhaps you can go to Starbucks and have a coffee. It might lead to a “real” date and then you’re back on your way to being a couple again.

That’s how to get back together with ex.

Have An Ex Boyfriend To Get Back - Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

Have An Ex Boyfriend To Get Back - Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back

If you have recently experienced an unfortunate breakup, and you have an ex boyfriend to get back, then you are like stressed out and going through difficulties in your life right now. You are definitely not alone however, as there are many people in the world right now who are in the same situation as they have an ex boyfriend to get back as well.

Many people who go through a relationship break up that was unexpected will feel desperate because they have an ex boyfriend to get back. Now is the chance to pull yourself together, keep your emotions in check and work through the initial stages of moving past the break up and eventually rekindling the relationship when the time is right.

If you have an ex boyfriend to get back, and you are wondering just what you need to do in order to achieve it, then you need to consider the following things.

- How does he feel about the relationship? Is he moving on, or does he want to rekindle things?

- What caused the break up in the first place, and can the things that caused the break up be rectified so that they do not occur again?

- What do you want from the relationship? Do you really want to get back together with your ex or are you simply acting out of desperation not to feel alone?

- Did you initiate the break up or did they? This will play an important role in determining how everybody feels about the situation after the fact.

If you caused the break up in some way, and you have an ex boyfriend to get back, then you may want to start things off with an apology. Let him know that you are sorry for what you did, and let him know that you are serious about rekindling things because you still care.

Once you have achieved this, you need to back off so that he can have some time to think about the situation. There is a lot that both of you are going to have to think about, and time and space is the only way that this is going to happen.

You need to make an honest effort to rekindle things without pushing too hard when you have an ex boyfriend to get back. It is not surprising that you want to push things and rush things, but if you cram yourself down his throat you will chase him away rather than talk him into rekindling things with you. It will take time and patience, sure, but if you really love him, then you should be prepared to go to great lengths to prove it. Be ready for a challenge, but if you are dedicated, you may be able to get your ex back once and for all.

Do I Want My Husband Back

Do I Want My Husband Back

If you ask yourself, “Do I want my husband back?” and the answer is yes, then you’re one of millions of women who have been through a break up and decided that they didn’t want to go through with it after all. Maybe you didn’t want it from the start, or maybe you did and now you’ve changed your mind. “Do I want my husband back?” is one of those questions that make you consider a great many things.

A lot of it has to do with isolation and loneliness. That’s not to say that you only think about taking your husband back because you’re lonely. Not true. But the loneliness that often comes after a breakup or a divorce can be quite a shot for anyone. “Do I want my husband back?” often arises out of the uncomfortable shock of finally being alone.

You should never take your husband back because of fear or boredom. A common fear is the fear of being alone and having face life’s difficulties alone. But the fear of being alone isn’t a good enough reason to decide you want to get back together with your husband.

If you stay together out of fear, the relationship can’t possibly grow naturally. Doesn’t he deserve to be with someone who genuinely wants to be with him? Not someone who stays because she believes there is no choice and they have to stay together.

You both deserve a better and more fulfilling relationship that one of obligation like that. Two people should be together because they want to be together, not for any other reasons.

So if you ask, ‘Do I want my husband back?” and the answer is yes, you really do, not just because you feel it’s expected that you be married, then you should try to get him. There are a few different ways you can head for this goal.

Be the woman you were when you got married. Of course, it’s impossible to go back in time completely. But all you have to do is essentially be the same person in some of your more pleasant actions.

When you first got together there was something about you that attracted him. Whether it was that you were sweet, thoughtful or attentive depends on the person’s perception.

Maybe over the last several years of the marriage, you haven’t been nearly as attentive as you could be. You should at least be happy that he would never have noticed the drop in affection, if you hadn’t been so good at lavishing it on him in the first place. But once he’s had that great attention, it becomes obvious when it’s gone.

And it’s easy for it to disappear after a while. We have a terrible tendency to take the people we love for granted all the time. Often that’s one of the factors leading up to a break up or divorce. If you ask yourself, “Do I want my husband back?” and you do, make an effort to not take him for granted anymore.

How Get Your Ex Back - What To Do When You Ve Been Dumped

How Get Your Ex Back - What To Do When You Ve Been Dumped

In most but not all breakups, it is the girl who calls for the split. Most boys do not like to end a relationship when they have a good thing going for them. If you have been broken up with but you want to know how get your ex back, the tips below might benefit you significantly.

- * First and foremost, make sure that you really want to know how get your ex back. Was she doing you a favor by breaking up with you? Are you trying to keep things working just because you do not want to be alone, or do you really and truly feel as if you love her?

Is she just ok, or are you really serious about her? You need to come to a conclusion here first and foremost before you can truly learn how get your ex back.

- * Now that you know how you feel, confirm how she feels in order to determine whether or not you stand a chance when it comes to learning how get your ex back. Girls can be fickle when it comes to relationships, so she may still be completely and totally in love with you despite breaking up with you.

Let her come to you. Let her make the first move. Let her guide the rekindling of the relationship. If she really does love you and care about you, she will eventually realize that the ball is in her court and it is her decision whether or not to rekindle things.

- * If you are serious about learning how get your ex back, consider moving on and behaving as if you have completely and fully accepted the break up and the future of the relationship. This will not actually chase her away, but rather will let her know that she is capable of making the first move when she is ready to.

- * Try to limit contact when you want to know how get your ex back, not completely but enough that you are not cramming yourself down her throat or forcing her to think about the break up all the time. Let her think that you are giving her space, and she will come to you when she is absolutely ready to do so. This may seem difficult at times, but the payoff in the end is enormous.

These tips are simple and straight forward, and they can really go a long way when it comes to helping you know how get your ex back. If you are serious about rekindling love with your ex significant other, then you absolutely have to heed the information in these tips, because they will drive the right results. Most relationships can be rekindled if the people in them are willing to go to great lengths to make it happen, so don't be discouraged.